Top Ten List…

Additional Warning Labels For Alcohol

10. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
9. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
8. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
7. Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your pants.
6. Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
5. Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
4. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
3. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
2. Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally “disappear."
And the #1 additional warning label for alcohol:
1. Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

OLYMPIA, Wash.– Lance H. Gauthun had barely escaped from the Thurston County jail before he was hollering for help and back behind bars.
Authorities heard the cries of Gauthun, 20, and a police officer pulled him to safety Jan. 24 after he fell down a steep embankment behind the jail and found himself exposed to temperatures in the low 30s.
Gauthun, who had served more than half of a 20-day sentence for theft of about $150 worth of copper tubing, slipped out a fire exit about 10:45 p.m. at the minimum-security jail annex, which houses mostly inmates on work release or assigned to work crews.
Gauthun faces more jail time after being rebooked pending investigation of second-degree escape, punishable by one to three months behind bars for a first-time conviction.
He was transferred to a higher-security jail.

Let’s Make A Baby!

LONDON, England–More than 200 reality TV hopefuls queued up to conceive a baby with a stranger live on air for a £10,000 prize.
They were the victims of a spoof set up to see how far people would go to get on television, reported the Daily Mirror.
Not even the presenters of Let's Make a Baby – ex-Big Brother stars Makosi Musambasi and Craig Coates – were in on the joke.
"They are playing for the ultimate prize - life itself,” Makosi told the Mirror. “There has never been a show like this."
Contestants agreed to live in a "love hotel" with the least attractive contestant being voted out each week.

SEOUL, Korea- A rural province in South Korea plans to award financial aid to qualifying male farmers to help pay for mail-order brides from overseas.
The planned trial program in South Kyongsang province give 6 million won ($6,113) to male farmers who marry foreign women.
South Korean farmers have been turning to brides from other parts of Asia in recent years after struggling to woo local women, who are often less than enthralled with the prospect of rural life.
"Young men in the countryside have a hard time finding brides and they started to look elsewhere," Ryu Kum-ju, an agricultural policy official for the province, told Reuters
The province also plans to increase courses for foreign brides to help them adjust to life in South Korea.
The local government estimates it costs about 12 million won for a farmer to pay all the fees and travel required to find a bride overseas.
The number of South Korean men who have married foreign women has rocketed in recent years. It hit 25,594 in 2004, more than double the 11,017 in 2002, according to data from the Korea National Statistical Office.
China provides most of the brides, while Vietnam is second on the list.

ZANESVILLE, Ohio If think your utility bills are high, you won’t believe the natural gas bill that one Ohio man received.
Lewis Miller got a bill for almost $8,095 after heating his Zanesville apartment for just nine days.
Miller told The Republic newspaper he thought he was just going to "lay down and die." And, he had a very anxious weekend, since he received the bill Jan. 20 and couldn't get hold of the gas company until Jan. 23.
When he finally reached the Energy Cooperative of Newark, they adjusted his bill.

Man Has Heart Attack At Cardiologist Party

SANTA BARBARA, Calif.– A guest who collapsed from cardiac arrest got very lucky – the heart attack struck him at a cardiologist-packed fundraiser for the American Heart Association.
"If you have to go down, that was the place, I guess," Dr. Richard Westerman told the Associated Press. Westerman is a cardiologist who helped save the man.
The unidentified patient suddenly slumped over during Saturday night's seventh annual "Heart Ball," witnesses said.
"It looked like he was a goner," said Santa Barbara City Councilman Brian Barnwell, who was among the 300 people attending the $250-a-plate black tie event.
Several doctors sprang into action and revived the man by performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation. Paramedics took him to a hospital where the man later recovered.

VORARLBERG, Austria– A ski instructor was buried in an avalanche while trying to demonstrate the risks of skiing off-piste in Austria.
Avalanche warnings and poor visibility led Guenther Muehlenbach, 28, to take his ski group in Vorarlberg to the edge of the slope to explain the dangers of crossing into the off-piste area.
"Guenther was standing there, just off-piste, telling us never to leave the controlled area because of avalanche risks,” said Alphons Koflach, a 16-year-old ski student. "Suddenly there was a loud rumbling and he disappeared in a cloud of snow."
Muehlenbach was picked up by the avalanche and dumped into a 200-foot deep ravine before being buried under 60 feet of snow.
His students called the mountain rescue team who were able to dig the ski teacher out in time. Muehlenbach was treated for shock and hypothermia.

KYOTO, Japan– A Japanese nurse who tried to relieve her work stress by tearing off patients' nails was sentenced Monday to three years and eight months in prison.
According to Reuters, the 32-year-old Japanese woman, who worked at a hospital in the ancient capital of Kyoto, tore off the fingernails and toenails of six female patients in September and October 2004. The patients were all immobile after strokes or other illnesses.
The Kyoto District Court said the woman had committed the cruel acts to relieve stress she was under from extra work forced on her by her supervisors.