The Maui Examiner

Politician Behaving Badly– What’s New?

VERNON, N.Y.– A first-time candidate for public office was arrested twice in a three-hour span for driving drunk, authorities said Monday.
Brian E. Karst, 34, who is running for Oneida Common Council as an independent candidate was arrested Friday night by Oneida County Sheriff's Deputy Mark Chrysler and ticketed for numerous traffic violations. Sobriety tests revealed his blood alcohol content was 0.14 percent, nearly twice the legal limit of 0.08, deputies said.
After his arrest, Karst was released to a third party.
Less than three hours later, Chrysler pulled Karst over again – driving the same car as before. This time, Karst's blood alcohol content was 0.11.
Deputies said Karst also was arrested for driving while intoxicated on Sept. 9.
A message on Karst's phone Monday said he was not taking messages. His uncle, Terry Karst, said his nephew has been under stress after a divorce and a custody dispute.
Terry Karst, who is chairman of the Independence Party in neighboring Madison County, said he would encourage his nephew to stay in the race against two-term Democratic incumbent Donald Moore so voters have a choice.
"When you have a president caught having sex with an intern or lying under oath, how's that compare? These are working people, not elitist politicians. They make mistakes. They put their pants on one leg at a time, and they make mistakes," Terry Karst said.

Bi-ped Poodle Garners Accolades

ISE, Japan – A 4-year-old male toy poodle that can walk on its hind legs has earned a police honor for promoting road safety.
The poodle, Pluto, was honored for walking around on its hind legs bearing a road safety advertisement during the national autumn road safety campaign. The dog's owner, Kimio Koyama, 53, a resident of Matsusaka, Mie Prefecture, was handed a certificate of appreciation and some dog food as part of the award, reported the Mainichi Daily News.
On Sept. 21, the first day of the campaign, Pluto walked 20 meters on his hind legs over a pedestrian crossing, wearing a sash bearing the words, "traffic safety."
Passersbys contacted police afterwards, saying the dog had given them renewed recognition of the importance of road safety.
Pluto walked on his hind legs into the Ise Police Station to receive the honor. Station head Etsujiro Kurachi addressed the canine saying, "Thank you, Pluto," and handed over the dog food prize.
"I'm happy that we were able to be of use," Koyama said. "In the future we want to keep working to enlighten the public.

Pluto the Poodle crosses a pedestrian crossing on his hind legs in Matsusaka, Mie Prefecture, in this June 2005 file photo.

Pacify These Kids, Please!

PAWTUCKET, R.I (AP).– Normally, a fight between two children over a pacifier might be resolved by their mothers.
But in Pawtucket, the police had to step in.
It all started Monday afternoon, when a 6-year-old boy dropped a pacifier. Another 6-year-old boy picked it up and refused to give it back, allegedly prompting the first child to deliver a punch. Police said the boy with the pacifier then punched back.
Pawtucket Police Detective Donti Rosciti said one of the mothers called police, saying she wanted the fist fight documented because her son had three minor scratches on his face, and she didn't want his school accusing her of abuse.
A patrolman wrote up a report, then went to the home of the other child to speak with his parents, Rosciti said. He called the case very unusual.
"I've never seen a report with two kids this young," he said.
Rosciti said that as far as police are concerned, the matter is over.
"A 6-year-old can't be held criminally responsible," he said.

They Call Him The Streak

CLEARFIELD, Utah– Last month a 51-year-old man allegedly entered a local convenience store on several occasions completely nude. Clearfield Police say that in August the man, who’s name has been withheld, also made a trip through a restaurant drive-thru in the buff.
City prosecutors have charged the man with misdemeanor lewdness. But now the Davis County District Attorney's office is investigating allegations of witness tampering, which could result in third-degree felony charges.
Police say that over the past week, the man has telephoned the same convenience store, asking for permission to enter the business without clothes.
He was attempting to talk clerks out of testifying against him, said Greg Krusi, assistant police chief for Clearfield.
Clerks called police, who kept watch outside the store. They witnessed the man approach the business, strip down and walk inside the business.
Krusi said officers arrested the man and booked him into the Davis County jail for allegedly driving under the influence, lewdness and telephone harassment.
He is currently in custody, and has been ordered to remain clothed while in jail.

And They Didn’t Puke

LITTLE ROCK, Ark.- Ed "Cookie" Jarvis of Long Island, N.Y., won the grilled cheese-eating championship at the Arkansas State Fair last Saturday, packing in 19 sandwiches in a 10-minute period.
Patrick Philbin of Moonachie, N.J., came in second, scarfing down a sandwich-and-a-half less than champion Jarvis. But third place was too close to call. Two contestants consumed 10 grilled cheeses in the 10 minutes allowed, and the judges had to call for a one-minute runoff. With 11 1/2 sandwiches in his belly, Michael Finnell of Sherwood, Ark., was declared the third-place winner.
All six contestants finished without getting sick, said Michael Castellano of the International Federation of Competitive Eating.
Little Rock was the 11th city on the 15-city circuit of the GoldenPalace.com World Grilled Cheese-Eating Championship. GoldenPalace.com, an online casino, and the federation are sponsoring the event.
For his big appetite and swallowing skills, Jarvis won $1,000. He will join other first-place winners in competing for the world championship title at a time and place to be determined later.

Naked Guns

COTTONWOOD, Ariz.– A man accused of trying to burglarize a home while naked last Tuesday stopped in mid-escape and asked his victim for a pair of shorts.
The victim threw the shorts to Nickos George Kopsaftis, the accused burglar, who then fled, said Susan Quayle, a spokeswoman for the Yavapai County Sheriff's Department.
Kopsaftis was later arrested next door, apparently while trying to steal a car, Quayle said. "He was wearing the shorts that were donated to him," she said.
Quayle said a man house-sitting for his father found Kopsaftis standing naked in an upstairs room holding two rifles belonging to the homeowner.
The victim told sheriff's deputies that he got the rifles away from the man, who ran away, but not before stopping outside to ask for clothes, Quayle said.
When deputies arrived, they found a pair of wet socks and a pair of wet pants with Kopsaftis' wallet and ID inside, Quayle said.
A banging sound from next door led deputies to a car which Kopsaftis appeared to be trying to hot-wire, she said.
Kopsaftis was booked into the county jail on two counts of burglary and two counts of attempted theft.

He’s Got Balls

BOSTON, Mass. (AP)– An inventor mortgaged his home and maxed out his credit cards to mass-produce an unlikely invention– prosthetic testicles for neutered dogs.
What started 10 years ago with an experiment on an unwitting Rottweiler named Max has turned into a thriving mail-order business. And last Thursday night Gregg Miller’s efforts earned him a dubious yet strangely coveted honor: the Ig Nobel Prize for medicine.
"Considering my parents thought I was an idiot when I was a kid, this is a great honor," he said. "I wish they were alive to see it."
The Ig Nobels, given at Harvard University by Annals of Improbable Research magazine, celebrate the humorous, creative and odd side of science.
Miller has sold more than 150,000 of his Neuticles, more than doubling his $500,000 investment. The silicone implants come in different sizes, shapes, weights and degrees of firmness.
The product's Web site says Neuticles allow a pet "to retain his natural look" and "self esteem."
Although the Ig Nobels are not exactly prestigious, many recipients are, like Miller, happy to win.
"Most scientists - no matter what they're doing, good or bad - never get any attention at all," said Marc Abrahams, editor of the Annals of Improbable Research.

Gregg Miller and his dog Buck. Buck, a purebred Bloodhound, was Miller's inspiration for his grand invention Neuticals, a testicle prosthesis for neutered dogs.

Long Wait For Insurance Rates Discount

BELGIUM– A 100-year-old motorist has been given an insurance discount because he hadn't had an accident in more than 80 years of driving.
Belgian Cyriel Delacauw still drives his car every day to the shops, the billiard hall or a local river to go fishing.
"I've driven around here for eight decades and I've watched all the traffic lights and signs gradually grow around me,” said Delacauw. “I know exactly where everything is.
"Today's beginner drivers act like they were born in a jungle. I may only ever go 25 miles an hour but at least I'm safe."
Delacauw says he plans to keep driving until he’s 110.
His insurance company did not reveal what the new low rate premium was but did reveal that "with 80 years of no claims bonus, his annual fee is not a lot."

Drug Dealers Hitch Lift From Cop

ROMANIA– Two drug dealers were arrested after accepted a lift from a passing drugs squad officer while hitch-hiking.
Catalin Vasile and Gheorghita Marienescu, both 22, from Targu Frumos, had filled their rucksacks with 25 ounces of cannabis from their own plantation.
They started hitching their way back into town when it started to rain – and got a lift from an off-duty police officer with the local drug squad, who soon recognised the distinctive smell.
"I saw the two men standing near a field trying to hitch a lift, said policeman Florin Ardelean. "I felt sorry for them as it had just started to pour down and so I stopped to help.
"I smelt the pot on them as soon as they had shut the doors."
The policeman then drove the pair straight to the police station in Targu Frumos.
"It turns out they had been cultivating the drugs for some time in the field and were selling it locally," Ardelean offered.
The pair has been charged with growing and dealing an illegal substance and. now face up to five years in jail.