The Maui Examiner

Classic Doo-doo Prank Goes Awry

WINNIPEG, Canada – A Winnipeg teen has received accolades and a letter of commendation from the Winnipeg Fire Department for helping his family to safety after a prank got out of hand and destroyed their mobile home.
The Ottawa Sun reported that Jordan Feasey, 16, was sleeping when his mom awoke and noticed something was amiss.
"She got up and looked out the window, and saw there was a fire on our outside deck," said the teen's dad, Mel Ottenbreit.
Police say that the fire was started when a prankster tossed a flaming bag of fecal matter on the family's doorstep.
Both of the trailer’s exits were blocked by the rapidly spreading fire.
After Jordan's mother woke him up, he immediately rushed to wake up his little brother and sister.
Upon seeing the fire, Jordan’s mom, Susan Feasey, called 911. But the fire spread so rapidly, all the family could do was watch as flames engulfed their home.
Damages are estimated at $120,000.
Jordan's quick thinking has already earned him
Police have arrested a 16-year-old boy, known to the family, who faces arson charges.

LOUISBURG, Kan. – The walls of a new house under construction in Louisberg were talking loudly last weekend, revealing the presence of a cat that was accidentally built into one of the walls.
Upon hearing the racket, the homeowner and workers started banging on the bathtub and the walls in an effort to locate the trapped feline. Upon hearing the banging, the trapped kitty began howling again.
The builder estimated the cat had been stuck in the walls at least three weeks.
It seems the wayward cat was hiding underneath the bathtub when it accidentally got drywalled in.
Workers tore a hole in the wall, called to the cat, and the scared, tired and thirsty animal crawled out.
The cat was taken to a veterinary hospital, where he's being called Hal, because he was found just before Halloween. The homeowner hopes the cat's owner will come forward.

One lucky kitty. "Hal" was rescued after spending three weeks inside the wall of a new home.

Too Politically Correct?

The October issue of Seventeen magazine was pulled from supermarket shelves because an article in the publication titled "Vagina 101" was deemed too racy for the Albertsons' supermarket chain.
Close-up drawings detail various parts of the female anatomy, under the headline "Owner's Manual."
Albertsons' corporate office in Idaho issued a statement saying the magazine was pulled after receiving complaints from customers.
But there's plenty of racy stuff still on the Albertsons' magazine rack, including the ever-popular sex and seduction mag “Cosmopolitan” and the October issue of Men's Health, which contains an article called "Six Secret Ways to Turn Her On."

OMAHA, Neb. – A Lancaster County sheriff's deputy was transporting inmate Debra L. Wooldridge, 49, to the York Women's Correctional Facility when she jumped from the transport van, which was traveling 75 mph, and broke her leg, reported KETV 7 News in Omaha
Wooldridge had been sentenced to 3-5 years for burglary in Lancaster County District Court. She was restrained by handcuffs, belly chain and leg irons. The investigation continues to determine how Wooldridge was able to get the door of the van open. Wooldridge was the only prisoner in the van.
Wooldridge suffered a leg fracture, contusions and abrasions. She remains hospitalized under guard.

Inmate Debra Wooldridge. Not the brightest bulb in the box.

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil – A lion was retrieved from a private home by police in Rio de Janeiro after several reports from terrified neighbors reporting a big cat roaring in the home.
Reuters reports that the owners of the 15-year-old retired circus lion called Baby did not have a license for the animal and would face criminal charges for ill-treatment of the animal.
The big cat, which was kept in a tiny cage found in the owner’s back yard, was skinny and in poor health, showing signs of muscular atrophy.
The animal was transferred to the Rio Zoo on the same day it was removed from the house.

This navel orange was found in Kaupo, Maui by J.M. Buck, publisher of The Maui Examiner. It has not been tampered with in any way. The best part about this guy is that if you have a headache, you can just turn him upside-down.